Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Have you ever been guilty of having "little" faith?

I have--I don't like to admit it--because it feels bad.

When God opened up the world to Hannah--I have to admit I was scared and hopeful all at the same time.  You know we have been on this adoption journey 4 times. 

Leighanne's adoption journey began in 2000 and was fulfilled in November 18, 2002 when she was placed in our arms and we completed the paperwork hours later.

November 18, 2002 Changsha, China
 When Leighanne had been in our home around 10 months, God opened our eyes to a beautiful 13 year old who wanted a family--and we felt God saying, "Take this journey again."  And boy was that a journey--down some roads that openend our eyes widely to corruption in the adoption world and pain and heartache.  We completed 4 dossiers and went through a job loss, a move and finally her city closed down adoptions before her paperwork could be processed-- and still Madina was not able to join our family.  At the same time however, God was opening our eyes to the millions of children who never get a forever family--and over time and many months of prayer and faith and hope, God made something good come out of that journey to Madina--a transition home for orphans who graduate out of the orphanage was opened and is still open today.  Over the years, 6 young ladies and 1 male (in December 2010) have come into a relationship with Christ.  That still makes me sit back and say, "WOW!"

August of 2003 when Madina stayed with us for 4 weeks
Then in 2009, God nudged us again.  "Take another walk with me."  So we did and this time it led us to Foster Care here in the United States.  We were hoping to Foster/Adopt another little girl--Taylor, but again we ran into obstacles when her biological Father came into the picture.  Taylor now lives with her biological dad and stepmom and from what we hear she is doing ok.  And we are thrilled for her.

Our Family pictures with Taylor in 2009

So why after all of these journeys do I sometimes have little faith?  I know how faithful God has been to me.  He has proven Himself over and over.  He has led us down roads that I haven't always wanted to walk down, and sometimes they were scary, but oh the peace that has been there from knowing that we were In God's will.

So today I confess my weakness of having doubts--of asking, "God are you really going to let Hannah come home?"  and  I will take my eyes off of Me--and just be thankful for getting to walk on another journey.  A journey that has ups and downs and turns and twists.  And I will ask God for more Faith when mine seems to wander.

1 comment:

Penny said...

I know there are times I am just like the Children of Israel. I have seen God work and yet at times I doubt. Thanks for sharing your heart. Looking forward to what God is going to do!