Tuesday, July 11, 2017
So today . . . 1st doctor appointment at Mayo.
I couldn't get to sleep last night. And around 3 am I was up again.
I asked Ben, "What is this--the 1st Day of School jitters?"
I am not really nervous about this appointment.
I'm ready to figure out what's going on inside my body.
I'm ready to get fighting this thing that wants to destroy my good cells.
It's hard to believe that 3 weeks have passed Before we had ever heard the word cancer with a big fat exclamation point at the end.
I can't hardly wrap my mind around the fact that one day I didn't have cancer, and the next day I did.
Of coarse I realize I did and I just didn't KNOW it.
So many people have walked this same road. They KNOW.
And I am just in the baby stages. Just starting the journey.
One I didn't choose mind you.
And then I have to breathe in deep, settle back, and meet Jesus on this walk.
He's allowing this to be apart of my life for a purpose I don't understand.
He loves me--I can feel it. I don't feel abandoned, I feel surrounded by Him.
I don't have to understand, but I do have to trust Him. I have to choose to trust Him--even though I would never choose what lies ahead.
Today I was reading about knowing Him. So today, I choose to walk this road with Jesus. If this is the path of KNOWING HIM MORE, then I'm walking in it.
Mind you, I'm praying for strength, I'm praying for joy, I'm praying for healing.
This is where I'm going to try and be real--good and bad.
Today, I honestly have peace. Not peace that says everything is going to be easy, but peace that says, I am wrapped up with the love of my daddy in Heaven. I feel like God has his hands so wrapped around me that I can feel his comfort.
For those of you that are praying-- thank you,
I can feel them. I'm sure the prayers of many are being brought to God, and He is giving me strength.
So while I never wanted to have to have a July 11th that included a 1st appointment at Mayo, I know I'm going with the arms of God wrapped around me, leading me, and guiding me. I feel safe in Him.
***My plan is to post updates here. I may choose to sometimes cross post on our New Beginnings Website, but this is going to be a personal place for me to journal what I want to share.
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